Two sides

My vision was blurred
So my reality was a farce.
Hate was my love.
Anarchy was my order.
Death was my life.
I stood on the side
Of the line that burned.
And yes, deep inside
Is where I yearned
For your love
And acceptance.
And you
Watched easily
as my life
Went up in flames.
Because it was the same
As yours
And now it would be mine.
Late night smiling
Early morning crying
When I was all alone
With no one to phone.
Or at least in my head
I felt I was dead
With nothing to give
Or to do with my own self.
I loved the Lord
But forgot Him for the moment
Even though many times
Into my life He had spoken.
Instead I let things kill me
Rather than fill me
With thoughts of moving on.
I was stagnant.
But I thought I was changing.
My truth was such a lie.
Yet I didnt hide it.
I knew I had changed
But for the worst.
I feared I couldn't return.
At times I still do.
But thanks to Him
I'm changing through
And through.
But now I lost you...
It wasn't my intention.
But things became wrong.
We once sang the same song.
And then we were both crying out.
But I became tired.
I became ill.
No longer could I be filled
With lies and pains
And things of death.
I needed a new breath.
And He was it.
My life is real now.
It means something.
I feel like I have purpose.
True purpose.
And my change?
Yes it was worth it.