FEAR

You were birthed of ill intent and piercing rhetoric. No one knew of you except me. I pushed you into the shadows, only to appear during my weakest hour. As time passed, you grew in stature. There was a time where it took a larger meal to nourish you. After a while, a simple snack would suffice. You became stronger and more self sufficient. You began invading my mind with psychotic scenarios, making me believe the unlikely. I saw your schemes for what they were, a ploy to hold me captive. For a long time,I tried to convince myself you never existed. When I finally realized you were real, I tried to ignore you. But somehow this only increased your power over me. When you overpowered me, I ran away from you. But you always caught up with me, each time with more vengeance. A piece of me died each day, as I thought I would never escape the dark cloud you created. When I finally did seem to be in a better place, you'd always reappear, telling me it would never work out. And you always made sure of that. I kept starting over. And although each beginning was different, every conclusion was the same. You robbed me of my life, and I just knew I had to get it back. I confronted you, but it seemed that situations kept placing me in a position to face you again. For a while I simply gave up and lived in misery, following behind you as you seemed to be living my life. Laughing at me all the while, you dared me to fight back. You were there in moments no one else was. And although I hated you, a major part of me had no idea how I'd go on without you. But I knew you were the worst. I had to do something. I called to Him one night and asked that you be removed from my life. He didn't hesitate. And I can't say I don't think about you, but I definitely don't worry about you taking over again. I no longer feel you lurking and waiting for hell to break lose or even going as far as creating upheaval. I realized that with or without you, life is going to happen. With or without you, there is going to be struggle. But the biggest struggle is living a life of regret. And I can't let you get the best of me anymore...So while you go about knowing that you have plenty of others at your behest, know that I will never cater to your desire for control again.