The Thirst

I took a few steps to get to You,
Hoping you would notice me
And take over from there.
I knew You would come for me
If I began to seek You out.
My heart was on fire for something more,
Something I knew deep down
That only You could provide.
But the fires died down
As time passed on...
And I wonder today
If I truly thirst for You
The way You do for me.
Each day You give me chances
When I might be quick
To retract my outstretched arms.
Each day You love me
Even when I hold onto my deeply rooted hatred.
Each day you carry me
When I have clearly given up.
You thirst for everything within me
But I seem to only thirst for the positive things
That come with loving You.
And so I wonder
Do I truly thirst for You?
I haven't forgotten You.
I desire to know You
And I desire Your presence in my life.
I don't want You to just fit in.
I want You to take over my life
Until there is only You.
I often wonder what is blocking You from me.
I know it's my own fault.
I know my mind and heart have guards
That I sometimes can't even break down.
And so I need You to break me.
I broke myself but it wasn't enough.
And so I need You to break me,
Until all I thirst for is You.