Crisis

In times of crisis I've learned to turn inward
But it's such a struggle to do it
I know it's me. Trust me, I know it's me.
And it's so ugly when I see it, but I can't stop it.
I pushed it down and swallowed it down
Until I thought it was all gone.
But it came back up, regurgitated like an old meal.
It reminds me that it's not so far removed.
It's all right there, ready to make itself known
When a familiar situation comes into play.
I can't blame the enemy, because I know it's my own self.
I'm my own enemy. I'm allowing it to continue.
I have to ask myself if I really want to stop it?
Because it feels so normal to feel this way.
It's all I knew for God knows how long.
He knows this deep dark world within me
Better than I can even realize and see.
Only His spirit in me can conquer this.
Only Him.